Oct 18th: Piss-trash-ios

Only an absolute nut could enjoy a pistachio. A food that requires not only an extensive level of effort just to consume, but money to purchase it. One bag of pistachios would cost an average worker about 30 minutes of work. 30 minutes. 30 minutes of work wasted on a 45 minute trip to the grocery store with lighting bright enough to sear through one's pathetic pistachio loving skin. Pistachios aren't even worth stealing. No matter how long you may try to convince me, I will never ever like pistachios. Even the name is stupid. Pistachio. More like piss-trash-io.  

If someone asked me, "Would you rather jump off a cliff, or eat a pistachio?" I wouldn't answer. Why? I'd be halfway down a cliff. 

I most certainly am no poet, but if someone were to prompt me to write a poem about piss-trash-ios it would go something like this:

Pain,

Worthless existence,

More pain,

Crack.

Into the trash.

Clarity. 

Chocolate covered almonds on the other hand. Now that is something worth stealing. Almonds stretch far beyond the realm of a traditional nut. In fact, they aren't even categorized as nuts at all. According to bag-a-nut.com, they're "drupes." Bag-a-nut.com also states that pistachios fall under the same category but, then again how could one trust a website under a name "bag-a-nut." Regardless, how can one deny the superiority that almonds carry. Combine that with chocolate and it's a done deal.